Catch up

Day 8 - Jewelry

 

 

 

 

 

His tiny hand holding my necklace, a gift from my mom and sister.

 

 

 

Day 9- A Special Place

 

Definitely the beach. Summer of 2011 was a tough one, but we went to the beach about 3 or 4 times a week. The crashing waves, sand in my toes and the sun on my face allowed me to set aside the sadness a bit. For a mom worn out by worry and sadness, it was a great way to keep the kids busy during the day and tired at night. We had tried hard to talk about and include Joshua in our family from day one and one of my best memories at the beach was when Benjamin asked me if I would go boogie boarding, so that Joshua would get a chance to try it out. I think I was about 7 months pregnant at the time, so I'm sure it was a sight for the other sunbathers. Oh well, Joshua caught a wave that day. :)

 

Day 10- Symbol

 

A bird.  We didn't set out to choose it. There are beautiful tiny birds on his urn. The cake from his memorial service had little white doves. The guest book tree from the service has a little blue bird tucked into the branches. We decided it would be the perfect addition to his memorial stone as well.

 

Day 11- Supportive friends and family

 

I couldn't possibly list them all. I chose this picture of our "guest book" from Joshua's service as a visual representation of the overwhelming love and support we have felt. There are some very special people whose fingerprints aren't physically on this paper because distance prevented them from attending, but they are there in spirit.



 

 

 

Day 12 - Scents

 

I don't have a scent that reminds me of Joshua. I didn't think of it beforehand, but other moms I know have brought a lotion or candle to use when the baby arrives. Scent is a powerful trigger for memories. It took me a long time to decide to even wash some of his clothes after his death. I've never washed his hats.   I've tried to press my nose up against his things, but because of the short time he was with us and the length of time that's passed since, that part of my memory of him is lost.

 

Day 13- Signs and Day 14- Community

 

I'd like to have photos for these, so I'm going to hold off for now.

 

 

Day 17- Birthday

 

I went back and forth on what to do for his birthday. Should we do a big fundraiser? A quiet day at home? Some really fun outing?  In the end, we had sort of a family meeting to ask how each family member would like to celebrate Joshua's birthday. Audrey wanted to do a quiet day at home, as did Benjamin. Charlotte, as usual, is up for anything. :)  Jonah is still so little that everything is very concrete and nothing short of a birthday party would satisfy him. All the kids obliged and wore party hats to satisfy him. We ended up having a quiet day at home followed by a really nice dinner complete with cake. That week the kids each wrote a note or drew a picture and at sunset we went outside with letters attached to balloons and released them. It was sweet. It was simple. It was perfect.

 

Unfortunately, our photos are stuck on the laptop hard drive which crashed a couple of weeks ago. I hope we can recover them. It kind of breaks my heart.